


Pretense

by romanticalgirl



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one is really fooling anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretense

Doug sat on the edge of the dock, staring down at the water. The polished black of his shoes reflected the brilliant sunlight that beat down, shimmering off the creek water that looked unnaturally clean. Everything about the day seemed better, brighter.

Except for the fact that Bessie's mother had died. 

He ran his palms over the edge of the dock, the smooth wood still rough against the tender skin. He'd planned on going to the funeral. He'd gotten dressed in his best suit and slipped out of the house before his parents had gotten out of bed. But halfway there he'd realized that the last thing Bessie needed today was to see him. 

Not that it would matter to her, he reminded himself as he fished a rock from between two slats of wood and tossed it out into the water. She'd pretty much forgotten heexisted between the jobs she kept getting and losing, helping care for her mother, working at the Icehouse, looking after Joey and her romance with Bodie. 

"He's there for me, lets me lean on him." She'd barely managed to look at him as they'd sat at the table eating pizza so hot the cheese and sauce slipped off the crust and pooled on their plates. "I need him, Doug. So I really think that you and I need to stop seeing each other." 

"Seeing each other?" He'd gazed at her completely mystified. "We're seeing each other?" 

"We see a lot of each other." 

"Because we're friends." 

"Bodie thinks we're more." 

"Bodie thinks we're fucking?" He'd laced the last word with venom. "Is that what Bodie thinks, Bessie?" 

"He just thinks we spend too much time together, especially since I'm dating him." 

"Right, so why is he so concerned over the guy who's been your friend a large portion of your life?" 

"I just can't see you anymore, Doug. I have enough problems at home, I don't need you to add to them." 

"I'm just another problem, is that it?" He'd put his slice of pizza down and pulled out his wallet, tossing some money on the table. More than enough for the food and the tip. "Keep the change, Bessie." 

"Doug…" 

"That way money for tonight's _date_ won't be a problem." 

He'd walked away and hadn't talked to her since. He'd run into them from time to time around town. He'd literally run into Bodie in the grocery store and they'd just stared at each other, dogs marking their territory. Except he hadn't had any territory to claim. He'd just had a friendship that had died an unnatural death. 

Sighing, Doug started to stand up. He needed to get home and change his clothes before he passed out from heat stroke. Needed a cold shower and a quick trip to the psychiatrist to have his head examined. Still, he wondered what would have happened if he'd walked into the funeral, expressed his condolences to the family and held Bessie for just a fraction of a second too long. 

He remembered the first time he'd held her, at the last dance of their freshman year. She was outgoing and vivacious and he was quiet and shy. She'd grabbed his hand and pulled him out onto the floor, swearing that this was her favorite song and she had to dance to it. Halfway through she'd been co-opted by an older guy, and he'd been about to walk off the floor when one of Bessie's friends grabbed him and he'd spent the night dancing and having a good time. 

He'd walked her home that night, after watching her give the older boy a kiss. It had been long and involved and he couldn't help staring, watching her hands move over his body, watching him touch the bare skin where her sweater had fallen away from her shoulders. He'd looked away before it ended, needed quiet and darkness to deal with his erection, shift it so it wasn't so obvious as he walked beside her. 

"What did it feel like?" 

"What?" 

"Kissing." He said nonchalantly, but he could hear his voice tremble, could see the smile that danced across her lips as she heard it too. "I mean, for a girl, what's it like? I obviously know what it's like for a guy." 

"Who have you kissed, Doug Witter?" 

"Lots of girls." 

"Name one who isn't a sister." 

"I kissed Tammy McFarland." 

"You couldn't manage to find her mouth in the dark." 

"I kissed something." He'd given her a dirty look. "There are girls in my life, Bessie Potter. Girls who aren't you." 

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah. In fact, I think your friend Brenda was checking me out." 

"Brenda's got a boyfriend. Besides, she asked me if you were gay. I guess her brother was interested." 

"Great." He'd sighed and put some distance between them, walking slower. Bessie had stopped and turned, her head tilted questioningly. "What?" 

"I'm just kidding. No one thinks you're gay." 

"They may as well for all the attention they pay to me." 

"Doug, your dad's the Sheriff. You're not going to be the most popular guy on campus. You might as well get used to that now." She'd walked up to him, still curious, still questioning. Her lips had been parted just enough to allow the moonlight to glimmer like lip gloss as her tongue darted out to wet them. "Have you ever kissed a girl? Like he kissed me?" 

"No." He'd shaken his head until she grabbed it lightly, tilting it slightly as she moved in. Her lips were still wet, still parted as her tongue pressed against his. He'd made a soft sound - a moan, a whimper, something - and she'd moved even closer and they were kissing. 

Her hands had stayed on his head, framing his face as she'd taught him how to kiss her, how to nibble and suck and spar and feel. His hands had moved over her of their own accord, at first settling on her back then smoothing up and down the sleek surface of her dress. They'd kissed for hours or days or minutes before she'd finally pulled away. Her lips were swollen and he wasn't sure he could feel his. "Girls are going to flock to you when they find out you kiss like that." 

"Is that likely to happen?" 

"I could let the news out." She'd smiled and reached out, touching his bottom lip. "Are you sure you're up to being deluged with date offers?" 

"You're not going to be one of them, are you?" 

"We're friends, Doug." She'd blushed, her eyes sweeping down his body, her blush deepening when she saw his reaction to the feel of her lips. "I don't want to ruin that." 

"Friends." He'd nodded and they'd gone on, pretending nothing had happened between them, pretending that it wasn't strange at all that, when they were alone together, they couldn't be near each other. Pretending that the shivering she did when he accidentally touched her was from him startling her. Pretending that when they'd gone skinny-dipping with a big group of her friends, it was just chance that they'd brushed against each other, that he was hard, that her nipples were peaked. Pretending that when he'd kissed her by the firelight one night and run his fingers underneath her shorts, it was all a wet, warm dream they'd managed to share. 

After that though, she'd found Bodie. Or he'd found her. Or they'd found each other. And suddenly, her time with him was shortened, filled with Bodie's name. When he'd accidentally touched her she'd just given him a look that told him everything was over and off limits and she didn't want to pretend anymore. 

But she hadn't wanted to stop pretending the way he'd wanted to. 

Doug shook his head and got to his feet, needed something wet to cool his overheated brain. The clock above the police station screeched as the iron hands swung up to the twelve and he sighed, knowing that it was all over by now. Funeral, burial. Now it was just a wake of sorts at the Leery house and trying to figure out how she was supposed to help raise a 13 year old. She had enough problems. She'd told him that herself. 

He walked slowly, ignoring the heat as he moved along the water's edge. The breeze felt good, smelled of salt and sun and wind, whipped his hair around. He reached the end of the walk and headed for the housing tracts that were just a few blocks away, toward his house, hoping that his parents were still at the funeral, that they were making the token appearance at the Leery's. Hoping that his father's bust wouldn't happen any time soon. Hoping that she and Joey would have time to grieve before their lives blew up in their faces. 

He didn't think about his sisters or Pacey. Surely they'd be at the Leery's too, and he'd have the house all to himself. He blew out his breath as he saw someone standing on the porch, wishing that his sisters weren't so stupid and wouldn't leave their keys behind all the time. 

As he got closer, he recognized her and considered turning around and running the hell away. He didn't think he had the strength to approach her, to speak to her. She turned as she heard his shoe on the bottom step and it hurt to see her. She'd been crying and in pain and he hadn't been there. 

"Hey, Bess." 

She didn't speak, just found her way into his arms and let him hold her, rocking her slowly back and forth until her body stopped heaving with sobs. She raised her tear-stained face, looking at him earnestly. "I just need to be someplace no one will look for me." 

"Come inside." He released her and helped her take a step back, fitting his key into the lock. It clicked in the sudden quiet and he opened the door, letting her lead the way into the dimness. He closed the door behind them and stood there, waiting for her, letting her take the lead. Bessie turned and faced him, her eyes wounded and sad. 

He started to speak again, but she shook her head, her fingers hot on his lips. Pulling her hand back, she reached behind her and slid the zipper of her dress toward the ground. The black material pooled around her feet until she stepped out of it, her black heels buckled tight around her ankles. 

His eyes raked over her body. Her bra and panties were black, standing out against her tanned skin. He could see the faint lines remaining from the summer before, the one he'd spent watching her on the beach, sharing marshmallows and kisses with Bodie as they'd lain on their blanket. 

Bessie stared at him, her eyes holding his whenever they lifted to her face. Reaching behind her, she unfastened her bra and let it fall as well, dropping it on top of the pile of her dress. Her panties followed, her breasts swaying gently as she bent over and stepped out of them. 

Naked except for her shoes, Bessie reached out, her fingers grazing the front of his dress shirt. "Can I hide away with you, Doug?" 

He nodded, not speaking. Closing the distance between them, he touched her face, leaning in to kiss her softly. She shivered like she'd always done and he groaned, his palm smoothing against her cheek. His thumb rubbed gently against her skin, wiping away tears. "Let me take you upstairs," he offered quietly, afraid to disturb the solemn air of the room. She nodded and moved away from him, gathering her clothes against her. 

He led the way on shaky legs, looking back occasionally to make sure she was still following him, still real. She waited as he opened his bedroom door, slipping in as soon as it swung back far enough to admit her. Her clothes fell to the floor again and she looked at him, afraid, alone. 

Swallowing hard, Doug stripped off his jacket and tossed it to the side, loosening his tie with one hand as he unbuttoned his shirt with the other. Bessie watched with wide eyes as he dropped his tie to the floor, then finished unfastening his shirt. He shrugged it off his shoulders as she stepped forward, her hands trembling as she reached for his belt. 

Doug froze as her shaking fingers pulled it free, pushing leather to the side as she fumbled with the button beneath. He reached down and stilled her hands, moving them away as he finished undoing the fly and stepped out of his slacks. His boxer briefs felt too small around his cock, growing achingly hard as he heard her suck in her breath. 

His own fingers shook slightly as he hooked them under the waistband of his boxer briefs, pushing them to the ground. He stepped out of them and stood in front of her, both of them naked, neither able to meet the other's gaze. "We don't have to do this, Bessie." 

"I do. We do." She finally met his eyes and held them, desperation deep in hers. "Please?" 

He reached up and stroked her cheek lightly, brushing away the threat of tears with his thumb. "Whatever you need, Bess." A sad smile lit the corners of his mouth. "I'd do anything for you." 

"I just need you, Doug. Please?" 

He nodded, bending his head so that he could brush her lips with his, his tongue stroking over the full flesh until they parted, allowing him access. The warmth of her mouth surrounded him as his tongue slid over hers. Bessie moaned softly as his hands smoothed over her hips, settling in the small of her back as he guided her to the bed. 

Pulling away, Doug held one of Bessie's hands as he used the other to push the sheets down, helping her sit as soon as the area was clear. She sank down and scooted to the middle of the small bed, leaning back against the headboard. 

Doug sat down as well, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Bessie watched his hand as it approached her, chewing on her lower lip as his fingertips brushed over her skin. She shook her head and reached for his hand, stilling it. "No." 

He pulled back immediately, shifting back on the mattress as well. "No?" 

"No, I mean. I don't want you to…" Bessie blew out her breath and shook her head. "I don't want you to be nice to me, Doug. I don't want you to make love to me." 

"What…" He swallowed hard, his blue eyes unfocused, unsure. "What do you want?" 

"I don't want anything sweet or tender or…" she shook her head. "Can't you please just come here and be inside me?" She lay down on the bed, her legs spread, her hand reaching for his and slipping it between her legs. Her flesh was warm and wet to the touch, but he pulled his hand back. "I need you inside me, Doug." 

"I can't do this, Bessie. Not like that." 

"That's what I need, Doug. You said you'd give me whatever I needed." 

He lost his breath for a moment, hating the pain that lanced through his chest. "Let me…" He leaned down and breathed her breath for a moment, closing his eyes against the threatening tears. "Let me kiss you, Bessie." 

"No." She moved her body, pressing it up against his. "No, Doug. Please just be inside me." She reached for him, pulling him on top of her, her breasts crushed beneath his chest. "Please?" 

Her desperate voice worked its way through him and he moved over her, his arms trembling as he held himself above her. He looked down at her face, twisted in private pain as he wrapped his hand around his cock, guiding it against her warm flesh. He was still hard, in spite of her request, and slid easily inside her. She cried out softly and turned her head to the side, not looking at him as he filled her. 

Doug's hands clenched into fists in the sheets beneath the pillow her head rested on and he looked away as well, closing his eyes as his hips moved in a slow, steady rhythm. Soft sounds escaped her lips as he thrust into her, each stroke deep and hard, their bodies grinding together. 

Her hands lay still at her side as he increased his pace, his breathing growing labored. Tears leaked down her cheeks as she tensed, lifting her hands to brush along his sides. Doug let out a soft yelp as if her fingers burned, burying his head against her neck, breathing her in, his tears melting against her heated skin. 

Bessie's fingers dug in, feeling muscle and bone beneath his flesh, kneading his skin hard as she pulled at him, needing him deeper. Doug groaned against the soft flesh beneath her ear, sending shivers through her as she thrust up against him, fighting against the pulsing edge of her orgasm. Doug's lips found her skin and moved over it, his tongue tracing patterns in the silky sweat. 

"No, Doug," she shook her head, fighting to get away from the seductive touch. Her hands held tight to his body as he lifted his head, his eyes locked on her as she writhed beneath him, her body tightening around him, muscles clenching hard as she came, her damp hair dark around her pale face. 

Doug groaned as her body pulled at his, slick with sweat and heat, still thrusting into her as she came all around him. She averted her gaze from his, not willing to watch him as he lost control, staring at the wall as he whispered her name, pushing his orgasm deeper inside her. 

They slowed then stilled, Bessie still not looking at him. The silence seemed to hang in the room, another presence, breathing heavily all around them, sucking up all of the air. Slowly unclenching his fists, Doug pushed away from the mattress, from her, easing away from her body and off the bed completely. He stood there, watching as she sat up, still avoiding his gaze as she glanced around, finally grabbing the bedspread and pulling it around her. 

"The bathroom's down the hall." 

She nodded wordlessly and slipped out of the room, trailing the blue and white comforter behind her. Doug sank back down onto the bed, staring at the floor, his whole body still held tensed and tight. He looked up as Bessie came back in, her eyes averted as she shut the door behind her. "I'm gonna…I need to go." She stared at him, waiting as he stared at the smooth skin just above where she held the comforter. "Could you…?" 

He nodded, turning his gaze away from her and locking it on the first random object that fell in his path. She stood still for a moment before dropping the comforter, grabbing for her clothes and pulling them on. She moved slowly, smoothing and straightening everything as she went. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, chewing on his lower lip. 

Bessie cleared her throat and shifted on her heels. Doug finally looked at her, his blue eyes showing no emotion. "I know the way out." 

He wondered how two people who had been so close could be so distant in the same room. "That was my first time." 

She didn't meet his eyes. "It wasn't mine. Goodbye, Doug." 

He nodded as she left the room, knowing she wouldn't look back.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written 7-20-2002


End file.
